Dancing, Struggle with perfectionism, & The grace of friends

Well, last night marked the 4th evening that I have ever spent dancing.  The 1st time was last about 5 months ago.  I prepared for last night by trying to learn steps to do the 2 step.  I had watch a few videos online and practiced some basic steps.  I spent yesterday going left, right, quick, quick all day.  I thought that I had reached a point where I had the basic steps down so I could get by on the dance floor.

I got there last night and the first time on the dance floor, I failed.  I could not the rhythm right.  I could not the the steps right.  I really tensed up.  So, I could not communicate what I was wanting to do to my partner.  Add to that, everyone else on the dance floor danced like pros.

It was then that my old struggle with perfectionism reoccured.  It is an old battle that is a byproduct of a family's history with monsters.  It comes from feeling that I had to excel above everyone else before I could be consider equal with everyone else.  I really felt like everyone was looking down at me and laughing at my attempt to dance.

It was there that the grace of my classmates came to me.  Perry pointed out that I was comparing myself to people who were well rehearsed and experienced dancers.  Kathy told me that I needed to relax.   Pam took me out on the dance floor and gave me a couple of lessons to help me.  Bill told me to hang in there and that he knew that I could do it.  Janit would ask me if I was having fun, was I happy and then tell me that she was glad that I was there.

It was after receiving these gifts of grace that I was able to relax and just enjoy myself.  Although I did get better at the 2 step, I just ditched it for the night and went for a couple of forms of freestyle dancing.  I really enjoyed being around people who in my own mind were laughing at me just a few minutes earlier.   I really had a good time.

This is how grace wins.  Legalism (You know all those Thou Shalt's and Shalt nots) would have just made it worse.  That is way that legalism works.  It uses perfectionism to make a mask so that everyone can look good and those who don't are marginalized by having their shortcomings exposed instead of their accomplishments pointed out.  Grace tells the person that they might not be where they want to be, but that is ok.  We love/like you anyway.  Stick around and enjoy the friendship and if you want, we will work on those steps together.

no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

http://www.biblestudytools.com/msg/1-corinthians/13.html

As we celebrate Valentine's Day, we are drawn to the subject of love.   It doesn't matter how elegantly we can speak or write.  It doesn't matter how well and adequately we know the Bible.  It doesn't matter how much power we have or how charitable we are, or if we are willing to die for what we believe.  Not of that matters without love.

 I know that in my life, I need people who will see me for who I really am and still want to be there for me.  Also, I want to be that kind of friend to you.  I believe where there is true love, people will have the courage to reveal what is really going on in their hearts, and others will respond with compassion for that individual because of that.

My wish for us on this holiday is that we may all experience true love, and through that love,  we will see God.  After all, how can we expect others to accept a loving God, if they do not experience God's love through us?  How can we show God's love, unless God's love is so flowing through us so that it overflows  from us into others?

Happy Valentine's Day.