What makes someone a friend instead of being an acquaintance.

I remember a time back in High School when me and some other people were discussing who were our best friends.  I said Bubba Duckworth was mine and that bought about some serious discussions because Bubba and I did not hang out together.  About the only thing that people could see that we had in common was football.  So, I have given a lot of thought over the years to what makes a friend.

My search would continue later when I was grown, married with children.  While my kids were in the Quest program in elementary school, I would take them to the Library to do research for their class.  While waiting for them in the Library, I would go and take a C. S. Lewis book titled "The Four Loves".  A few years after that I found a CD at Lifeway Bookstore of a lecture that C. S. Lewis gave on "The Four Loves".  It was probably the best purchase I ever made at Lifeway.  One of the four loves that he talked about was the love of a friend or "philia".  If you want to read more about this topic, then I would recommend that book.  

I believe that many people today have surrounded themselves with acquaintances and companions, but have never enjoyed the love of a true friend.  Acquaintances and companions give us great enjoyment with their company.  They may even help us on occasion.  A friend (I believe) is someone that places your welfare over their own.  They will love you for who you are, but will act by doing what is best for you.  So, their company will aways be a safe and loving place, but not necessary a nice one.  That is why a true friendship will endure a time of separation, but acquaintance and companionship will fade over that time.

When we talk and teach about "agape" and fail to talk and  teach about "storge"(affection), "eros"(lover & the beloved), & "philia"(friendship), we fail people by not giving a basis for understanding "agape"(supernatural love).  So, "agape" has become in many places a vague concept and not something that is truly felt.

Oh by the way, my answer to the discussion about Bubba being my friend was that when others gained up on me, Bubba would come and face them with me and that was something that I did know if any in that group would do or not.