Scattershooting.

Back in 1979, my wife and I went to Missouri with some close friends (Mike and Sharon Paris) who were from there.  We spent a couple of days in Fredricktown with Sharon's family and while we were there, her Dad was talking about our Summers here in Texas and said that we were "next door to Hell" with all the heat that we have.  This past week reminded me of him telling me that.

Lometa's husband, Bobby Rorie had an Aunt Rosie who past away this past week and my heart goes out to them.  I knew his Aunt Rosie and her family when I was a kid and told my Mom about her passing away.  My Mom told me that she had known her since the 1st grade ( at Tripp which is now known as Sunnyvale) and had gone to school with her though High School (Mesquite High School) as well as church.  I knew that my Mom's mom ( whom I called Dodo) grew up on land that is now covered by Lake Ray Hubbard, but my Mom also told me that Dodo's mother's family had lived there for a while and that our relationships with the Duckworths go back several generations.  I had always thought that I was the first one in my family to be friends and to grow up with the Duckworths ( however I did know that Mom grew up with Bubba's mom), so I guess that tells you how much I know.


I went to the circus today, and I liked it.  While watching the performances, I noticed a couple of mistakes by the performers.  One of the acrobats missed her jump and the rope that she was wearing caught her and kept her from falling.  There were men holding the other end of ropes that they were wearing and these people not only made sure that the ropes kept the performers safe but also that the ropes did not prohibit them from performing.  I really thought that was a nice picture of what love is like, whether it is God's love for us or our love for each other.


Dennis

If someone wrongs you within the NMHS Alumni of the Seventies.

I really love this high school alumni group that I am in.  It is growing and I believe that many of us are actually closer now than when we were in high school.  As the group goes forward, there will be times when one of us will do things that will hurt someone else in the group.  The question then becomes; how do we handle those times.  

I have no authority and this is strictly my opinion.  I think that the best course of action is the one of love.  So, how does love handle such things.  The first thing is to contact that person on a one to one basis.  It could be that what is going on is a simple misunderstanding or something that is unintentional.  If we go to that person first instead of running to someone else or blasting them on Facebook or some other service, then we can restore the friendship instead of making things worse.

If  things cannot be worked out on a one to one basis then get one or two others to join in the process.  A true friend who loves both people can be a big help in working things out.  

If the situation still not worked out, then this would be the spot to let the whole group know.  About 100 - 1000 posts on a wall can be an eye opener, especially if that person is told that until this is resolved then as far as we are concerned, they graduated from that other high school.  ;-)

I feel like we have a great group and I do not want to lose any friends.  I think that as long as we lived loved and love each other, then things will be good.

A different picture of love

All of us have heard something about what love is.  Those of us who attend some meeting of the church or gone to a wedding has probably heard something from 1 Corinthians 13 (called the love chapter).  How ever also in the Bible are these verses:

 Rom 13:10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

Rom 13:8 Owe no one anything, except to love one another, for the one who loves his neighbor hasfulfilled the law.

Gal 5:14 For the whole law can be summed up in a single commandment, namely, “You must love your neighbor as yourself.”

Jam 2:8 But if you fulfill the royal law as expressed in this scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well.

If these verses are true and I believe that they are, then love will act like this:


If a person loves their family then if possible, they will take one day of the week and use it for rest and family time.

A person will appreciate their parents for what they have gone through and not go around blaming them for  the misfortunes that have been inherited.

If one loves the people around them they will not murder them by thought, word, or action.  They will also not have an affair (by thought, word or action) with a person's spouse if you love both of them.
One will not spread lies about someone they love.One will not even want the possessions of people that they love.

Just a thought.

"When you are affected by what others think and say about you then they own you"

I am 54 years old and most of my life I have lived by the statement that your reputation is the most important thing about you.  So everything I did was done to impress people and look perfect.  ( There was also another thing going on in my life in that I felt that the only way I could be loved is if I was number 1 in everything that I did, but that is another issue that although happened at the same time was also different and is separate issue that I can talk about at another time.)  

When reputation was king, I was very aware about the ways others would view my actions.  This caused me to not to reach out and be the friend that I needed to be to some because of how that would have been viewed.  I was a lot more concerned with my self righteousness than love for others.  As I have shared about my hurts growing up, several people have told me that they felt the same way also.  I cannot help but think that maybe if I was not so consumed with myself, then I could have reached out and others would not have gotten hurt.  

Another characteristic was the way I reacted to false comments that were made about me.  I learned early in life that fighting would not change anything, but I would still  cut myself off from anyone that I felt that did me wrong.  As I look back, I realize that this was the main reason that I never came to any of the reunions until the 30th.  The main reason that I came then was a promise that I had made to Carol Pace Robertson after the 20th reunion.  (She was working in a school with my wife and had called the house to talk to her about school, but I answered the phone.  She laid into me for over an hour about not coming to the 20th.  Actually that was probably the longest that she had talked to me our whole lives.  The conversation ended with a promise from me that if possible, I would attend the 30th.)  I came fulfilling that promise. 

Also some others things happened to me between the 20th and 30th reunions, as people within churches began to try to orally assassinate me.  I was forced to leave a couple of churches and bounced around until I became involved within relationships and what some call Christianity 101.  

It was about that time that I came across a quote that went something like this, "When you are affected by what others think and say about you then they own you". There is another cliché that I have quoted often that says that we need to lived loved and that will allow us to love others.

For me, I knew that I needed to let Jesus love me and to realize that there was nothing that I could do to make Him love me more and there was nothing that I could do that would make Him love me less.  As I have accepted this teaching, I have naturally started loving others more.  

You can see this in the pictures that Dean has taken of me at the reunions.  There was a time when I would not have allowed a picture to be taken of me and another woman because that would lead to people saying that we must be having an affair (I know this because that was the culture that I grew up in).  Now that doesn't bother me like it use to because we are just friends and I and everyone else there knows that nothing could be further from the truth.  (Now I will say something if I feel something is going too far, but still I am not bothered like I used to be.)

It is when I am not affected by what someone else thinks or says that enables me to see their hurts and to reach out and to help them heal their hurts.  I am not there yet, but I am still on this journey.

Another parent tries to kill their child and then says God told them to do it.

It has happened again. A man tried to kill his son and then told people that God told him to do it.  I am glad that in this case the man failed, but the boy will probably still be scarred for life.  There have been a number of these types of things happening  these past few years.

I believe that when this happens, then one of 3 things is happening.  The first possibility could be that the person has mental problems and needs help.  The 2nd possibility is that the person is just a cold blooded killer and needs to have a fair trial followed by the appropriate punishment.  The 3rd possibility is that the person was led by some Spiritual Force to do such things.

The 3rd possibility leads us to another question.  What Spiritual Force could be doing this?  Could God really be doing this?

 I believe that there are demonic spiritual beings that masquerade as messengers of God that will try to influence us to do evil things.  If this is true, then how do we know if it is of God or from these demons.  For me the answer to this gets complicated to explain, but here goes.

As someone who grew as a Baptist and was a Deacon and small group teacher in the congregation, I know of a lot of Bible verses that command us not do such things.  The problem that I have with just quoting a number of these verses is that there are also 2 exceptions.  The first exception, is Abraham and the second is Jephthah.  A lot of us are familiar with the story of Abraham and Isaac.  Pastors and teachers love to teach that story because it fits nicely with our views of God.  Very few people know the story of Jephthah, because it is a hard story that challenges our view of God.

This story is found in the book of Judges chapters 10 & 11.  Jephthah is the illegitimate son of a man named Gilead and a prostitute.  Gilead was a married man and when his other sons grew up they drove Jephthah out of the house and Jephthah became a leader of a group of lawless men.

When the Ammonites were attacking the hometown, the leaders of Jephthah's hometown came and asked him to lead their army.  Jephthah agreed to do this and then asked God for help and promised God to sacrifice the first thing that come out of his house when he got home.  God gave him the victory and when Jephthah got home his only daughter who was a virgin was the first to come out to meet him.  This floored Jephthah, but he told his daughter his vow and she agreed to it but first wanted to spend a couple of months out with her friends.  She did this and come back as a virgin to be sacrificed.

So how can we know whether or not the same thing is happening today?  I believe that there are 2 differences between these Biblical exceptions and to what is going on today.  The first thing that in both exceptions, everyone walked away praising God and that is not happening here.


The 2nd thing has to do with relationship.  This is not much different from the relationships that we have here.  Most of us have gotten messages that want us to click on a certain link & those messages claim to be from our friends, but our relationship with those friends tells us that they would not send that link to us.  The same is true with someone who has a relationship with God and is living within the mindful presence of God.  We know that this is not coming from Him.

Personally, the only one of these possible reasons that I think might excuse the person is if they have  physical or mental problems and need treatment for these conditions.

What is sinful to you may not be for me and vice versa.

It is commonly taught that there is one chart of what is sin and that covers everyone.  Now sin is a "spiritual" word that just means wrong, and I believe that there are certain behaviors that are wrong for anyone to commit.  But, what if there are certain things that are wrong for some people but not for others.  As I have gotten older, I have come to believe that this is the case.

Two of the many examples that I believe that fall into this category are drinking and dancing.  I have grown up hearing that it is wrong to drink; however by the time that I was in High School, I knew that Jesus drank alcoholic beverages.  Since Jesus committed no sin (that is wrongs), then his drinking must not have been wrong.  If drinking was not wrong for Jesus, then it must not be wrong for us either.  Also, Jesus made mention that He will be drinking wine with his believers in the coming Kingdom with this statement,"NLT©  Matthew 26:29 Mark my words—I will not drink wine again until the day I drink it new with you in my Father’s Kingdom.”


So if it is ok to drink then why would it ever be wrong and why have so many preachers given sermons against it?  I think that the answer to this question to this question is obvious when you think about people with drinking problems such as alcoholics and abusive drinkers.  I think that everyone can agree that it would be wrong for people with conditions like these to drink.  Also, if  our drinking  would cause them to drink then it would be wrong for us to drink around them.  Also, it seems to me that a lot of people who have grown up around people who had  drinking problems, think that everyone who drinks will react the same way that the abusive drinker did.  So, if we really love these people we will not drink around them, because of the way they would perceive our actions.  Now there are certain people such as myself that have made a conscience decision not to drink and that would be different.  As I have stated before, my decision to not drink at this time has more to do with knowledge that alcoholism runs in my family and that may put me at risk.  The fact that other people drink does not bother me so it is ok to drink around me.  Heck, I could be the designated driver if needed.  


Dancing also can affect people in a similar way.  If you think that you should go to bed with everyone that you might dance with, then you really should not dance.  However, I believe that is ok and even good to dance.  The Bible evens says that there is a time to dance and to praise God with dancing.  


So, I think that the right or wrong of a lot of our actions comes down to this:  How does it affect us and how will it affect others.  No matter what, if we are letting God love us and we are also loving others then, we will make the right choice in these so called "gray areas" of life.

The Good and The Bad, Pedestals & Grace

As usual, this post does not come from a "think tank" of philosophical debate that occurs within the ivory towers of Seminarian Castles, but are my observations of lives lived out (that is what I also call sidewalk theology).

As I think about seeing the whole person, I come to the place of how that relates to a couple of other issues,  the first being pedestals.  I have noticed that when someone only sees the good in another person, then that other person is already placed on a pedestal and is worshiped without either one realizing it.  It seems to me that the same thing also happens when someone only sees the bad in themselves.  In that case, it seems that others are then placed on a pedestal and worshiped without either party realizing it.

Also, it appears to me that when someone only sees the bad in another person, then they have placed themselves on a pedestal above that other person and without realizing it, seek worship.  The same effect seems to happen when someone only sees and promotes the good about themselves.  I mean that when someone only acknowledges the good about themselves, then they are putting themselves on a pedestal above others to be worshiped.

I have seen a real danger of people coming out of Seminaries and exploiting the bad of people to the point where those same people only see the bad of themselves and at the same time, the Seminary graduate is promoting the good about themselves.   I have seen this played out to where the Seminary graduate becomes a "Jim Jones" type figure among these people.

From what I have seen, people who sees and acknowledges that everyone including themselves are both good and bad, then they are able to see everyone on an equal plane and not on pedestals.  I am not saying that everyone is 50/50 on being good and bad, but that everyone has done some good things and everyone has done bad things to some degree.

I think that this is also vital in how we extend grace to others.  It seems to me that when believers in God see life this way and that it is God who is changing us from within, when those believers are free to extend grace to other believers and to realize that God is also changing those other believers from the inside also.