It seems that I have spent most of my life feeling like I did not fit in. With the exception of my grandparents (Papa and Dodo), any feelings of fitting in have been short lived. That goes for family, school, friends, work and church.
I was born into a family that followed a strict set of religious rules and attitudes. These rules and attitudes were meant to cause people to "come out from among them and be separate". This is a very popular notion that has been proclaimed in both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible. The problem in following these rules are that no one ever measures up to them. So, I spent most of time not being around a lot of people my own age while growing up because of that.
This in turn caused me to be socially behind when I reached NMHS. It also put me into some positions where I was taken advantage of. Because I did not know how to relate to others (along with some other factors like my speech impediment), I ended up being a shy and quiet guy.
However there were some good things that came from this. From a very early age, I started trying to learn about what was right and wrong and I didn't stop there as I also wanted to know the why's behind those rules. This has been a life long process and I am not through yet, but as I have gone through this journey, my life has changed and is still changing.
These changes in what I believe have had one bad side effect though. As I have changed what I believe about things, I have come into areas where my new beliefs do not mesh with what others believe. There are areas where my beliefs do not agree with the status quo and traditional thoughts that have been passed down through Colleges and Seminaries.
So once again, I find myself being the round peg in the square hole as I feel the same way that I did earlier in life, but different also. It is different because my beliefs are grounded in something other than what someone told me to believe. That makes a world of difference.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
What Labor Day means to me.
There is a lot of hard feelings towards Labor Unions today, as everyone views them as related to themselves or how they have been told and programed to view them. I realize that and so I am not trying to change anyone else's opinions but rather just state my own opinion.
First thing that I believe is that the Middle class status that covers most Americans today is a result of Labor Unions and not anything that the government has done. In the early 1900's America was basically a two class society. Even a Civil War that freed slaves, did not change that. The rich who only viewed the bottom line and not the people who worked for them, and the people who labored under bad conditions. It was when workers banded together to end the abusive conditions that they were being forced to endure, that caused the Middle Class.
Since that time, I believe that most of us have benefited from that movement and it makes no difference if you have ever been a Union member or not. It has resulted in better pay and benefits for Union workers as well as non union workers as competition in the market place has force companies to offer better benefits in order to keep good employees. You only have to look at the difference between jobs here and the conditions that workers in India, China, Mexico and other such places endure to see how much better off we are here.
Even though one can point out some bad things that have come about as Unions have themselves become big business, I believe that we are still better off with them than without them and that some things that are promoted are really false misconceptions (After all being Union does not mean being government ;-) ). First thing, Union Members work just as hard as non-union members. UPS demonstrates that as the company is made up of Teamsters, but is still regarded as hard working people. Even before I became a Teamster,(when seeking to get someone that I did not know to do a job) I preferred to hire Union Electricians, Plumbers, etc because experience had taught me that the job had a better chance of being done right with them than though a non-union worker. Being part of an Union today usually means that you will not need to enlist in either SNAP or have a Lone Star Card to provide for your family. It means better health care and retirement benefits.
The observance of Labor Day really shows how the best changes within our country have come from the bottom up. That is from the common people to those in power and not from government down to us. We are better when we do not seek to depend on government to solve our problems, but seek to help each other. It also shows me that we have never really been a country that promoted love (even though some loudly proclaim that we are and have been a Christian nation), because if we really loved each other we would not have experienced the Civil War or the bad working conditions that caused Labor Unions to come into existence.
To me all of this shows the need for us to love each other. For if we ever truly love each other, we would witness almost all of our country's problems and crise solving themselves.
First thing that I believe is that the Middle class status that covers most Americans today is a result of Labor Unions and not anything that the government has done. In the early 1900's America was basically a two class society. Even a Civil War that freed slaves, did not change that. The rich who only viewed the bottom line and not the people who worked for them, and the people who labored under bad conditions. It was when workers banded together to end the abusive conditions that they were being forced to endure, that caused the Middle Class.
Since that time, I believe that most of us have benefited from that movement and it makes no difference if you have ever been a Union member or not. It has resulted in better pay and benefits for Union workers as well as non union workers as competition in the market place has force companies to offer better benefits in order to keep good employees. You only have to look at the difference between jobs here and the conditions that workers in India, China, Mexico and other such places endure to see how much better off we are here.
Even though one can point out some bad things that have come about as Unions have themselves become big business, I believe that we are still better off with them than without them and that some things that are promoted are really false misconceptions (After all being Union does not mean being government ;-) ). First thing, Union Members work just as hard as non-union members. UPS demonstrates that as the company is made up of Teamsters, but is still regarded as hard working people. Even before I became a Teamster,(when seeking to get someone that I did not know to do a job) I preferred to hire Union Electricians, Plumbers, etc because experience had taught me that the job had a better chance of being done right with them than though a non-union worker. Being part of an Union today usually means that you will not need to enlist in either SNAP or have a Lone Star Card to provide for your family. It means better health care and retirement benefits.
The observance of Labor Day really shows how the best changes within our country have come from the bottom up. That is from the common people to those in power and not from government down to us. We are better when we do not seek to depend on government to solve our problems, but seek to help each other. It also shows me that we have never really been a country that promoted love (even though some loudly proclaim that we are and have been a Christian nation), because if we really loved each other we would not have experienced the Civil War or the bad working conditions that caused Labor Unions to come into existence.
To me all of this shows the need for us to love each other. For if we ever truly love each other, we would witness almost all of our country's problems and crise solving themselves.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Scatter-shooting
I have a serious problem with people who condemn homosexuality but see nothing wrong with a man being a serial molester.
I believe that giving someone the cold shoulder is no different from someone having an outburst of anger.
I really have not followed college football very much (there have been a few exceptions) since the day that the Southwest Conference broke up.
I love music, especially those songs that are honest about life.
I admire those people who can look down into the abyss and examine what is there and what it is like and can come back and tell about it.
The Dallas Stars are now my favorite pro team.
Even though I will vote, my hope for this country rests entirely upon people learning to live loved and from this will be able to love others.
A true leader never has to make a willful effort to lead, but will make an effort to serve and enable others.
I believe that the bailout as well as Obamacare both provide for the wealthy at the expense of both the lower and middle classes.
I believe that giving someone the cold shoulder is no different from someone having an outburst of anger.
I really have not followed college football very much (there have been a few exceptions) since the day that the Southwest Conference broke up.
I love music, especially those songs that are honest about life.
I admire those people who can look down into the abyss and examine what is there and what it is like and can come back and tell about it.
The Dallas Stars are now my favorite pro team.
Even though I will vote, my hope for this country rests entirely upon people learning to live loved and from this will be able to love others.
A true leader never has to make a willful effort to lead, but will make an effort to serve and enable others.
I believe that the bailout as well as Obamacare both provide for the wealthy at the expense of both the lower and middle classes.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
What love do part 2
Do people who have never been under the religious laws of the Bible need to be put under those laws? If they are not placed under those laws how can anything but lawlessness abound? These are 2 questions that come from many church leaders today. My answer to both questions is no and here is a brief look at why I say that.
This has always been an issue from the very earliest days of the church. When Paul was writing to a group of Christians in Rome (most of whom he did not know), he wrote this: NLT© 2:14 Even Gentiles, who do not have God’s written law, show that they know his law when they instinctively obey it, even without having heard it. 2:15 They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right.
Now Gentiles just means anyone who is not a Jew. So, Paul is really saying here that people who have never been subject to or have even heard these religious laws started doing them instinctively. If they had never heard of these laws, what caused them to start doing them? This is what "living loved and loving others" causes one to do. Love is the fulfillment of the religious laws. These laws just show what the byproduct of love really is.
Love was written on their hearts and so they started doing rightly. Love will guide, accuse and confirm their actions within the heart. So I believe that when people start behaving badly towards another, they are just really showing that they do not love those people.
If bad actions show that love is misplaced, then why do we focus on coercing laws upon them instead of guiding them towards love?
Saturday, August 4, 2012
What love do
There is a story in the Bible that tells of a time when people living under Roman rule and social beliefs [Which are very similar to the way Western Society (including the USA) lives today]. They also lived under the religious rule and commands that are very similar to what the religious right tries to force everyone to live by today. This passage speaks to me because it shows the spontaneous response of people living in these conditions to "living loved and then being able to love others".
Here is the story from the NET Bible (emphasis mine): Acts 2:42 They were devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of breadand to prayer. 2:43 Reverential awe came over everyone, and many wonders and miraculous signs came about by the apostles. 2:44 All who believed were together and held everything in common,2:45 and they began selling their property and possessions and distributing the proceeds to everyone, as anyone had need. 2:46 Every day they continued to gather together by common consent inthe temple courts, breaking bread from house to house, sharing their food with glad and humblehearts, 2:47 praising God and having the good will of all the people. And the Lord was adding totheir number every day those who were being saved.
Verses 44 and 45 speaks volumes to me about how love reacts to those arounds us. Now before I go any further, let me say that I do not believe this to be socialism or at least how I've seen socialism played out in society. Socialism has always been forced upon people and this is a spontaneous outbreak that is not forced.
As I read this, I see a people who did not demand Government to take care of them, nor did they seek to form Non profit organizations to oversee who would get help and who would not. This was a case of those who had stuff exchanging it for money so that anyone and everyone who had a need had that need met.
Also, they loved being together and not in the traditional religious settings, but house to house and eating and sharing time as well as their lives with each other.
It seems to me that in a world of good, better, & best; this is the ultimate way for people to live and it is simply the by product of living loved and loving others.
Here is the story from the NET Bible (emphasis mine): Acts 2:42 They were devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of breadand to prayer. 2:43 Reverential awe came over everyone, and many wonders and miraculous signs came about by the apostles. 2:44 All who believed were together and held everything in common,2:45 and they began selling their property and possessions and distributing the proceeds to everyone, as anyone had need. 2:46 Every day they continued to gather together by common consent inthe temple courts, breaking bread from house to house, sharing their food with glad and humblehearts, 2:47 praising God and having the good will of all the people. And the Lord was adding totheir number every day those who were being saved.
Verses 44 and 45 speaks volumes to me about how love reacts to those arounds us. Now before I go any further, let me say that I do not believe this to be socialism or at least how I've seen socialism played out in society. Socialism has always been forced upon people and this is a spontaneous outbreak that is not forced.
As I read this, I see a people who did not demand Government to take care of them, nor did they seek to form Non profit organizations to oversee who would get help and who would not. This was a case of those who had stuff exchanging it for money so that anyone and everyone who had a need had that need met.
Also, they loved being together and not in the traditional religious settings, but house to house and eating and sharing time as well as their lives with each other.
It seems to me that in a world of good, better, & best; this is the ultimate way for people to live and it is simply the by product of living loved and loving others.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Life since the robbery
Yes, I am calling it a robbery. There was not any material possessions taken at the time, but something that was more precious to me than anything that I owned was taken. I am talking about relationships. The relationships that I had with friends and family. Of those relationships, only the family ones have really hurt, because I have always figured that I could and would make new friends anytime I lost old ones.
This all happened in the 1990's when some Seminary graduates came into our lives. Before then, we had lived 20+ years married. Oh we had our faults and were working through baggage that we had brought into the marriage, but we were committed to each other and would work through anything that came up and as it came up. The Seminary graduates however started exploiting those faults in order to gain control and to authenticate their position within the church. ( I often refer to these people as Jim Jones wannabes, because that is just what I think of them). To summarize what I have already blogged about, they used their influence to make sure that everyone gave me the cold shoulder, including my family. They even told my wife and kids that they should only talk to and heed the Seminary Graduates and only listen and heed me when I am saying what they wanted to hear. That has continued through today.
I want to make it clear before I go any further, that I am very proud of my family and that in no way are they bad people. I am dealing with the relationship between me and them and nothing else.
That has been over 12 years since those events culminated. I am still married to the same woman. I still love her and all my family, although I usually feel like their feelings toward me are no different than a tick's feeling for a dog. There is not a day that goes by even now that at some point I still feel the pain and hurt of what I have lost. This has affected me in other areas as well.
Whenever I am in a position of being with families (who are enjoying being together with other families) tends to remind me of what I no longer have. A real problem for me is the hurt and the feeling that I do not belong, because my family will not come with me. This first showed up in church. Most churches are established for people in come in wearing masks of being ok. You ask someone how they are doing there and they will say something along the lines of I'm ok. Most churches can't handle people not being ok, especially those with long term problems. So, if and when I show up, it is obvious that I'm not ok. This causes me to be shunned or they feel the need to lecture and come down on me, because since I'm a man, it must be my fault and I should be condemned.
That feeling of not belonging is not limited to church though. There have been times when even within the alumni group where people have been harsh with their words, because they can't understand why my family does not want to have a relationship with them (even though there are some who know both me and my wife and she has no problem with the relationship with them apart from me).
I still feel it at other times also. I felt it Saturday at the Cedar Creek Lake. I did really enjoy being with and getting to know new friends better as well as meeting people that I had never met before. As the day wore on though, I was really feeling it. It was a full day of families being together and enjoying other families. In middle of that, I was there alone, knowing that my family wanted to avoid the group as well as any mention of the group or my friends within the group. So I ended up leaving the restaurant where the festivities came to a climax early, not because of the heat, but because of the isolated feeling that ate at me & was really hurting within me.
I write this for two reasons, first as therapy for me. When I am hurting, it helps me to write about it. The second would be that if me expressing these thoughts can help someone else, than I am all for it. We all have grown up in a society that doesn't know how to handle pain and disappointments. We have all shunned people from time to time, not because we don't like them, but because we are put into situations where we don't how to handle the experiences that they are going through. So I hope that this helps.
This all happened in the 1990's when some Seminary graduates came into our lives. Before then, we had lived 20+ years married. Oh we had our faults and were working through baggage that we had brought into the marriage, but we were committed to each other and would work through anything that came up and as it came up. The Seminary graduates however started exploiting those faults in order to gain control and to authenticate their position within the church. ( I often refer to these people as Jim Jones wannabes, because that is just what I think of them). To summarize what I have already blogged about, they used their influence to make sure that everyone gave me the cold shoulder, including my family. They even told my wife and kids that they should only talk to and heed the Seminary Graduates and only listen and heed me when I am saying what they wanted to hear. That has continued through today.
I want to make it clear before I go any further, that I am very proud of my family and that in no way are they bad people. I am dealing with the relationship between me and them and nothing else.
That has been over 12 years since those events culminated. I am still married to the same woman. I still love her and all my family, although I usually feel like their feelings toward me are no different than a tick's feeling for a dog. There is not a day that goes by even now that at some point I still feel the pain and hurt of what I have lost. This has affected me in other areas as well.
Whenever I am in a position of being with families (who are enjoying being together with other families) tends to remind me of what I no longer have. A real problem for me is the hurt and the feeling that I do not belong, because my family will not come with me. This first showed up in church. Most churches are established for people in come in wearing masks of being ok. You ask someone how they are doing there and they will say something along the lines of I'm ok. Most churches can't handle people not being ok, especially those with long term problems. So, if and when I show up, it is obvious that I'm not ok. This causes me to be shunned or they feel the need to lecture and come down on me, because since I'm a man, it must be my fault and I should be condemned.
That feeling of not belonging is not limited to church though. There have been times when even within the alumni group where people have been harsh with their words, because they can't understand why my family does not want to have a relationship with them (even though there are some who know both me and my wife and she has no problem with the relationship with them apart from me).
I still feel it at other times also. I felt it Saturday at the Cedar Creek Lake. I did really enjoy being with and getting to know new friends better as well as meeting people that I had never met before. As the day wore on though, I was really feeling it. It was a full day of families being together and enjoying other families. In middle of that, I was there alone, knowing that my family wanted to avoid the group as well as any mention of the group or my friends within the group. So I ended up leaving the restaurant where the festivities came to a climax early, not because of the heat, but because of the isolated feeling that ate at me & was really hurting within me.
I write this for two reasons, first as therapy for me. When I am hurting, it helps me to write about it. The second would be that if me expressing these thoughts can help someone else, than I am all for it. We all have grown up in a society that doesn't know how to handle pain and disappointments. We have all shunned people from time to time, not because we don't like them, but because we are put into situations where we don't how to handle the experiences that they are going through. So I hope that this helps.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
My thoughts about relationship with God.
I have this wonderful friend named Cindy. Many of you know her or at least know of her. She is a beautiful person both inside and out. For those of you who do not know her, you are missing out on having a good friend.
So, how do I get those of you who do not know her to be her friend? Would it help if I coerced and/or manipulated you into saying that you wanted to be friends with her? I don't think so. I really think that would make you not want to be her friend if that were to happen.
What if I just limited my friends to those people who were her friends also? Would that make you want to be friends with her? Again, I don't think so. I would just lose out on having some amazing friends.
I think that the best way is to just be friends with both Cindy and you. If in doing this, you find out what an amazing person that Cindy is and want to be her friend, then that would be great. If you choose not to want to be her friend, then that is your choice also and that would not affect our relationship.
It is funny to me that we can see this in our dealings with people but cannot in dealing with God who is a real being also. I really believe that "Christians" have really pushed more people away from God than drawn to God just because of these actions. Oh you may be able to get people to recite some incantation that is called the sinners prayer and notch your Bible for a conversion, but that does not mean that a relationship has been formed. People who do these types of actions, I believe, just push others away from God as well as themselves making this whole process nothing but a stumbling block.
So here is my deal. I have this friend who is God and I do not want to deny our friendship or kinship. Nor will I push this relationship onto anyone else. If you do not want a relationship, then that is up to you, just as it is up to you about a relationship with Cindy. If you see something in the relationship that I have with God and want to know more, than at that point I am more than happy to talk to you about it. That is no different than my relationship with Cindy. If you notice how having her as a friend has really been beneficial to me, and want to be friends with her then I would be more than happy to talk to you about that also.
I love having each and everyone one of you as a friend and I don't want to lose that friendship by coercing my beliefs and relationships on you. For me it is really all about living loved and loving others.
So, how do I get those of you who do not know her to be her friend? Would it help if I coerced and/or manipulated you into saying that you wanted to be friends with her? I don't think so. I really think that would make you not want to be her friend if that were to happen.
What if I just limited my friends to those people who were her friends also? Would that make you want to be friends with her? Again, I don't think so. I would just lose out on having some amazing friends.
I think that the best way is to just be friends with both Cindy and you. If in doing this, you find out what an amazing person that Cindy is and want to be her friend, then that would be great. If you choose not to want to be her friend, then that is your choice also and that would not affect our relationship.
It is funny to me that we can see this in our dealings with people but cannot in dealing with God who is a real being also. I really believe that "Christians" have really pushed more people away from God than drawn to God just because of these actions. Oh you may be able to get people to recite some incantation that is called the sinners prayer and notch your Bible for a conversion, but that does not mean that a relationship has been formed. People who do these types of actions, I believe, just push others away from God as well as themselves making this whole process nothing but a stumbling block.
So here is my deal. I have this friend who is God and I do not want to deny our friendship or kinship. Nor will I push this relationship onto anyone else. If you do not want a relationship, then that is up to you, just as it is up to you about a relationship with Cindy. If you see something in the relationship that I have with God and want to know more, than at that point I am more than happy to talk to you about it. That is no different than my relationship with Cindy. If you notice how having her as a friend has really been beneficial to me, and want to be friends with her then I would be more than happy to talk to you about that also.
I love having each and everyone one of you as a friend and I don't want to lose that friendship by coercing my beliefs and relationships on you. For me it is really all about living loved and loving others.
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