The Christmas Mask

How can I make (insert name here) happy?  In the buildup to Christmas that is the question that everyone builds on.  We are told so often that it is in the giving of the right gifts that people are made happy that we are brainwashed about it.  Now I am not knocking the giving of gifts, but the reason that we give them.  There is nothing wrong with giving someone a gift.  It can be a wonderful experience for both the giver and the receiver.  But, as I sit here I am wondering how many people were needing a hug, a conversation, someone to spend time with them this Christmas and what they got was "Here is this (insert type of present here), now go off and leave me alone because you are not worthy of my time and love".  Now I really doubt that people were actually told this orally, but this was what the actions of the giver said to the recipient.  I believe that when you give a gift without love for the other person, you are using the gift as a mask to hide behind as you pretend to love that other person.  It is a mask that only fools the person who is hiding behind it.

I realize that this happens all year, but it seems there more stories of this happing at Christmas time than any other time.  I know that we live in a society where there so many things are demanded of us, that we do not have time to do everything that we want to do.  So we substitute gifts for love.  That is where I think that we miss it.  You see I really believe that love will give meaning to gifts, but gifts will never give meaning to love.  I believe that love must always be there first.

I believe that this starts with God.  God is love.  Everything that He does or says comes from love.  There is nothing that comes from Him that does not come from Love.

So, I believe that one of the things about being made in His image is that we always need to start with love.  Everything that we do or say must come from love.  If others know that we love them then that love will give everything in our relationship meaning.  However, I believer that whenever we do not love, then nothing that we do or say will give meaning to that relationship.

Now take this a step further.  If we as believers really have God within us, then we have his Love within us, so everything that we do or say should radiate that Love.  If that His Love is not showing, then how can we truly say that we have God within us.

So I hope that we truly all love each other and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Hiding in Spirituality

What does the phase "hiding in spirituality" mean?  Is there any difference between "hiding in spirituality" and being spiritual?  I think that the answers to these two questions would depend on who you ask.  Each person could and would answer based on their experiences and prejudices.

For me there is a difference between hiding and being.  I think that people who are "hiding in spirituality" do so out of fear.  They either put up a front believing that if the truth about them was known, then they would not be accepted.  Church leaders do this all the time, because if they admitted that they were not perfect then they would be kicked out of the church.  Churches have preached "Be you perfect" and then expected people to live that out in their own efforts.  The best that anyone can do along that way of thinking is to be a Pharisee.  We can discipline our actions to look perfect, but we can't discipline our hearts.  Our hearts can only change by Christ working within us.  It is His working to change our hearts that produces genuine change in our actions.

Others hide because they are scared of the "secular".  They are so scared of being drawn into something bad that they put up walls to stay behind so they will feel safe.  That is why most rules and traditions within the church are there.  It is staying within those rules, that creates a feeling of being safe.  A person who has grown up in an abusive home can find safety within the rules of not drinking.  The old rules against dancing, swimming together, dress, etc were put there to protect against marital breakups.  People who hide like this are like the people that put bars on their windows and doors to feel safe, not realizing that they placed themselves within a prison of their own making. Again, I think that people who do this are acting out a faith that is produced by their own works and not trusting God to change the hearts of people.

To be spiritual is the answer and separate from this problem.  I think that being spiritual is just being in a relationship with God.  This is a relationship that is a lot like the relationship that we have with our friends and loved ones, just more so.  This relationship does not hide you from reality, but makes it more real.  It allows you to give mercy and grace to others because of the mercy and grace given us.  We can love because we are loved.  This does not mean that we are perfect, but that we trust God to work in our hearts to change us and we can be honest with friends that will not think less of us for admitting our failures, but loving us all the more.

Weep with those who weep

It seems to me that "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."  is a simple quote, but it is one that shows who your friends are.  My experience  in this has shown me that this action takes someone who is willing to go that spot where you are and meet you there.  The person who does not really care will simply say something like: "You need to lay that burden down" or "You need to take that burden to the altair" or even "You need to put that behind you".   When a person says anything like that to me, I have learned that they only want to associate with people who mask their hurts and say "I'm ok".


I have learned that bad things happen.  It doesn't mean that the victim is evil.   The only person who does not go through bad things is one who never lived.  And, even if the person who is the victim had done something wrong and caused the problem, it should not change how we perceive or treat them.  When people have wept with me when I wept, they simply hung out with me because they loved me.  They did not try to force me to wear a mask hiding my pain, but simply entered where I hurt just so I would know that it was all right to hurt and that they would be with me until I was able to heal or to reach a place where I could live with it. 


 It takes love to be able to do this.  I mean that a person has to be devoted the victim and eager to honor them.  A person has to put the victim's needs above their own wants.  In short, this is love. 

standardizing causes divisions

It occurs to me that we live in a society that wants everything to conform to one image.  Of course we demand everyone else to change to our image, so we do not have to change.  When someone does not conform to our image we label and disassociate with them.

In churches, the Pastor or some board, or some committee will put down a set of beliefs and everyone is expected to believe and not question those beliefs.  People who do not believe in their hearts those things either will have to lie about what they believe or leave and go elsewhere so they can find people who believe the same way that they do.  This is how churches split & different denominations are formed.

In business, employers demand that employees be carbon copies of each other, much like they do the machines that they own.  Schools have to try to teach the same thing in the same way to all students and when not all students respond the same way then society places the blame on the Teachers.  We are taught that all marriages should look the same way, like we all live in the town of Stepford.

The problem with this line of thought as I see it is this:  First, all of us have been created different.  We have different strengths and different weaknesses.  We also have had different things that have happened to us and that have caused us to be even more different.  Also since all of us are different, than all combinations of us will be different also.  No two successful marriages will be exactly the same , even when one person remarries.  What will work in one company, may not work in another because all the people will be different.

In standardizing, we lose the ability to appreciate the differences between us.  Churches will no longer touch a person's heart because none there can deal with someone not sharing the same views wholeheartedly.  Standardizing will cause missed friendships as well as marriages ending in divorce because people are not created to be carbon copies of each other.

I think that the root cause of standardizing is that we do not respect the right of someone else to have a different opinion from us, even if their opinion is wrong. We no longer can share with each other what we believe and this is why I believe it, or this is the questions that I have about that.

It also seems to me that when we respect the right for people to have an opinion than us, even if that opinion is wrong, we bring unity to everything.  Marriages and friendships become stronger. Businesses discover a new resource to create more business.  Churches will once again start touching people's hearts.

When we truly love each other, we will not demand other people to be just like us.  We give them a safe place to be then we are able to share what we believe.  This will actually allow God to change all of us into the person He meant for us to be.

How for me focusing on love instead of doing the right thing is better.

Back in school, I used to be obsessed with doing the right thing.  I do not think that I ever demanded that from any of my classmates, but I did for myself.  It was something that drove me.

I guess that the main reason that I demanded it of myself was that I thought that if I proved myself to be good enough then I could be loved.  In other words, I was trying to win love from people and God.  I never was good enough to accomplished that.

What that attitude did do was to create a false persona about me.  In a way, I wore a mask.  Not the type of mask that people wear at Halloween, but it still kept people from knowing me.  That mask not only kept others from knowing me, but it also kept me from revealing my heart to others.  Honestly, if anyone reads this that knew me back then, what do you remember about me?  Was it just that I played football, that I was quiet and shy, that I sometimes had a smile on my face, or maybe that I usually made good grades?  Even my closest friends did not know a lot of things about me.

That attitude carried over into my adult years.  As I grew and started questioning some of my beliefs, a couple of things happened.  When I found out that a couple of things that I took for truth were wrong, I started reviewing everything that I believed.  If one thing was wrong, then I knew that it was possible that a lot of things were wrong. 

As I was going through those changes, the focus became on how my actions affected others.  For instance, I could not go to a bar even if I did not drink anything there because someone might see me that would develop a drinking problem, and I would be accountable for the bad influence that I had on them.  So I could not do anything that might would cause somebody else to do wrong.  So, I thought that I still needed to wear that mask.  That forced me to retreat into places where everyone else acted the same way that I did and we all would gather around with our masks on with no one ever really knew the other. 

Those actions were even worse than the first, because everything that was wrong in the 1st place was still there, but only now I also was a hypocrite because I really did not believe what I pretended too.  My kids and parents are amazed at some of things that I do and say now because it does not line up with what they remember about me.

There came a time a few years ago when I was forced to take off my mask.  The feeling when that happened was like getting caught without your clothes on, but it was also freeing.  The verse that said that Jesus did not break bruised reeds or snuff out smoldering embers became a special one to me.  I came to realize that God loved me without me being perfect, righteous, or holy.  That no matter how bad I hurt, He would never hurt me more.  

As I let His love inside and grow within me, I am learning that I can love others the same way.  His love is also changing me.  I am still wanting to do the right thing, but because He is changing me inwardly so I am not having to "discipline" myself and force myself to do it, and that my actions come out of love and not for love.

I have more friends now than I have ever had, but not everyone likes this "new" me.  That is OK.  It is not up to me to change them.  So, even that frees me to love.

Safe Relationships

“Safe is a place where you can get out the worst thing about you and they don’t run you off, talk you down, or head for the hills….Safe is where you are loved more for revealing your ‘problems’, not less.”

This is a quote from the book Bo's Cafe which deals with relationships among people and while doing it reveals what we as the church should look like.  It is also something that I have only experience in a group setting only once.  It happened within what I call a subcultural of a church congregation where the main obstacles were the formal leadership of the congregation (Pastor, Church staff, Deacons, etc.). Even among my individual "friendships", it has only happened a couple of times.


I bring this up because since there some relationships forming within the alumni group that have the potential to be this way.  For the first time in about 10 years, I have people in my life that I feel safe around.  Now I am not talking about physical safety, but safety as described above.  Now this can grow into relationships like the group in Bo's Cafe or not, I guess that is up to us.  


All of us have problems.  There are no all together people.  Super religious people who stand above everyone and who are closer to God are just a myth and do not exist.  People who present themselves this way are only showing a mask that is covering up all of their faults.  These people can never truly be a part of a safe relationship because they are frauds, actors, hypocrites.  


So the question is which direction do we go from here?  I would like to close this blog with another quote from Bo's Cafe.




"This relational stuff, the good stuff?  Well, its messy man.  Because it demands that you care about something more than getting better before you can ever get better."

Enigmas

Every now and then something will come up that will be an enigma to me and I will spend time trying to figure it out.  At this moment that would be Trop Rock.  I had never heard this term until Cindy started talking and posting and writing about it.  What is and what is not Trop Rock music and where is the dividing line.   Why is Jimmy Buffet Trop Rock and Alan Jackson not?  Are the Beach Boys the original Trop Rock musicians?  What keeps "Galveston" from being a Trop Rock song?  What is a Trop Rock lifestyle and how is that different from a country lifestyle?

I know I can be obsessed at times when it comes to enigmas.  This obsession can and has cause changes in my life.  It was an enigma that took me from being concerned about people in traditional church who "fell through the cracks" and dropped out (along with trying to make sense out of what happened to me within church and why I could no longer find comfort and belonging there) to a new outlook on church community and following God.

I could go on and on about the enigmas in my life but by now you have the picture.   I have found that when I let myself look at the mysteries around me and allow questions to come then whether or not I find any answers, my life is enriched

My thoughts on the book, "What I Believe" by Count Leo Tolstoy

I really enjoy hearing or reading what someone believes and how and why they believe it.  It applies even when I do not agree with what they say.  When someone goes to the trouble to share what they believe, I believe that it is a gift and they should not suffer any personal attacks when they are honest.  So, I will not be issuing any of that here.  However, I do believe that discussing the issues are appropriate and that gives me and others the chance to share what we believe.  That is what I am going to try to do here.


As someone who has spent most of his life as a Southern Baptist with their fundamental studies on what they believe;  I believe that Tolstroy does a good job in laying out his beliefs.  The main problem that I had with his teachings is the same one that I have with most fundamental writings and that is they start in the wrong place.  I believe that one must start with "God is a person who wants to have a close relationship with us and He Himself is Love and He loves us",  and build on that.  I did not see that happening here.

 Tolstoy takes the passage that is commonly call "The Sermon On The Mount" (Matthew 5-7), and bases his whole belief on what he has gotten from these passages.  If I understood the book right, then the teaching seemed to me that to be a Christian then one must be taking these teachings to the extreme and applying them as laws or a code of living for us to live by.

He teaches us that, "We must never be angry with anyone or kill even in war, never resist evil done to you,  never divorce, never take any oaths, never sit in  judgement against anyone, never make distinctions between us and foreign nations or peoples."  I believe that love may lead people to these same actions, but if it is not carried out from love then the act is meaningless.

Tolstroy also makes a list of things that cause happiness and that list did intrigue me.  He said:

1.  All need to have a life where the link between him and nature is not destroyed.

2.  All need to do congenial, free, physical labor.  (Forced Labor is no different than doing no labor in bringing happiness)

3.  All need a family life.

4.  All need a free friendly communication with all people.

5.  All need health and a painless death.

That is a brief nutshell of the book and my thoughts.

The significance of spending all day standing in line to see Cindy Herring Bates perform at Six Flags

My life goals while I attended NMHS were as follows:  Be a top football player,  play on a championship team, play football at college on scholarship, go into coaching.  I was so focused on those goals that I turned down an offer to go to Centenary College in La. on an academic scholarship plus grants to the extent that my college would have been payed for during my Junior year because they did not play football.  Then during my Senior year, my dreams were shattered.  There were no offers to play football anywhere.  Neither were there anymore offers based on my academics.  Coach Qualls told me that to go into coaching, I would need to be involved in football and if I went 4 years without football, then I would not be a serious coaching candidate anywhere.  So, all of my dreams, all of my aspirations were smashed.

After High School, I did go to Eastfield Community College for 2+ years ( I have 90 hours there at that 2 year Junior College).   But, I never developed interest in doing anything else and dropped out.  It was during this time that I really felt like a loser.

It was during a Summer's day when a group of us from church went to Six Flags.  While there, I noticed that the gossip that I had been hearing was true when I saw Cindy's name on the sign of performers for their show at the Southern Palace.  So I went and spent the whole afternoon standing in line ( I stood in line for 3 shows and when I finally got to the door to get in to see a show, they had changed shows and performers So Cindy was not there, so I did not go in.).  While standing in line, I received comments about my manhood (Southern Palace was thought of as a place that women wanted to hang out),  people pointing out how many words that Cindy and I had said to each other during all 4 years of high school combined, and that Cindy would not only never know that I was there but she would not remember or speak to me if we should ever see each again.

What nobody understood was the change in direction that my mind had made that day.  Even though all of my dreams had been shattered, I still could and would support and be happy for those who were still pursuing theirs.  After that  I was able to be happy anytime Gary Blair carried the ball for Baylor, or when the Pam's were shown on TV cheering for UT.  The one thing that I was learning back then was that even though my dreams and aspirations could and would be broken, my reactions towards others still be one of love for them.

That would not be the last time that I went through something like that.  I would later lose my Insurance Agency due to a company downsizing, and about 15 years ago some Seminary Graduates got involved with my family and friends and turned them all against me.

We can't control what happens to us, but if we have experienced how much God loves us, then we are able to respond  with love for others no matter what happens to us.

My first dance

I guess that you could say that I had one thing on my bucket list that has now been crossed off.  Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to dance with a girl.  But, growing up in an anti-dancing home and marrying a wife who did not want to dance put that dream on hold.  So, I found myself a 54 year old man that had never danced.

When the subject of the Sock Hop came up, I was for it because I figured that I could blend in with the crowd and visit while those that wanted to dance did dance.  Then the Sock Hop was canceled due to a lack of people sending in their money and the gathering at The River was substituted for that.  I then became unsure of whether or not I really wanted to go.  I do not drink and I can't dance, so I really did not know what I would be doing there.

Then at the dinner at BJ's after the Homecoming game on Friday, Cindy Herring Bates came up to me and told me that if I wanted to, that she would teach me a few steps and have a dance with me.

Now Cindy is an excellent dancer as she dances all the time.  I remember after we graduated high school, she performed at the Southern Palace at Six Flags.  I remember going there several times and standing in line for hours with Joe Ben, David, and Paul Williams just to be told that there were no seats left.  I had no doubt that Cindy would go on to bigger things.  She has done just that while remaining that same person that we knew in high school.

So after my wife encouraged me to get out of the house and go to the event, I went.  The group of us were sitting there all together and listening to this band called MOJO Filter that I had never heard of before but really liked. After they got through with the first set, the juke box was turned on and Cindy leaned over to me and told me that if I was interested, we could either go to a back corner and practice a few steps or we could go straight out to the dance floor.  I chose to go straight out to the dance floor.  Cindy told me a couple of things (she kept it simple for me) and we got started.

She let me lead and matched her steps with mine as we went across the floor.  I would guide us and when I got off beat, she would nudge me back into beat.  There were times when she wanted us to try a couple things so I would move the upper part of my body as well as my feet.  She could read what I wanted to do and she also could communicate without speaking what she wanted and I had a great time.

Today as I reflected on my first dance, I realized a couple of things.  The first thing is what a great lesson this was for how a marriage should be.  A couple that is in tune with one another going through life together.  One would lead the direction but not be "the boss".  The other would have input into what they were doing and together they would go through life committed to each other.

The other thing that I reflected on was something that I had always been taught.  I was always told that dancing was wrong and that it would tear a marriage apart.  I found that the dance not only did not do that, it even helped me today with the relationship with my wife.  I did not feel imprisoned today.  I found myself more happy with my marriage than I had been in a long time.  Now nothing had changed with my wife or kids, but it had with me.  I found myself more committed to my wife.

Now I really value Cindy's friendship (as I do others) but, I am still in love with my wife.

Oranges

I went to grocery store yesterday and saw the prettiest display of oranges that I have ever remember seeing.  They were stacked up on a display and were the prettiest color of orange that I have ever seen.  The display had a light hanging down that gave them a special glow.

After seeing them I decided that I would buy some.  Then as I would pick them up (one by one) and when they were out from under that light, I saw that they were not perfect.  They had flaws.  They had discolorations.   Some were even bruised.  I went ahead and bought some, but the experience started me to think.

We are in many ways like those oranges.  We live in a society that demands perfection, so we go to great extremes to try to have that perfect look like the store gave to those oranges.  The problem is that we are no more perfect than those oranges were.

So what happens when we are taken out of that light that is masking us, and our imperfections are revealed?  How do we react when the imperfections of others are revealed?  Can we accept that everybody has both good and bad within them?  Or, do we discard them because they are no longer able to present themselves as being perfect?  If we discard them then, what becomes of the rest of us who are really no more perfect than they are - but just have not been discovered yet?

I believe that this is where love and grace and mercy shines out.  Mercy means that we do not discard them because of their faults.  Grace enables us to focus on the good things that they bring to us.  Love causes us to focus on them instead on where they have failed us.

Isn't this what God does when He enters our lives?  Doesn't He show us mercy for our shortcomings?  Doesn't He give us grace so we can be all that we were made to be?  Doesn't His love focus on us rather than how we have failed Him?

I believe that true friendship and love can only be experienced as we come out from under that artificial and deceiving light so that we see each other as we really are.

By the way, those oranges that were not perfect, were still very delicious all the same and I could not have known this as long as they were in that artificial and deceiving light at the store.  It is when I took them out and put them in the true light that I could enjoy them.

Love, Hate, & Apathy

I have heard most of my life that the opposite of love is hate and anger.  I heard that from serval places:  school, church, family, etc..  I no longer think that way.  I now believe that hate and anger is a part of love.  If you love something and that something is threatened, then what comes out is hate and anger.

So, hate and anger can show people what you truly love.  If you see hate and anger coming from someone, you can look to see what is threatened and know what is the object that is loved.  For instance, if I get upset because someone is a good dancer and I can't dance, then I am showing that I am loving myself and my status and popularity because my inability to dance like the other person  threatens my status and popularity, and maybe my chance to get the girl ;-).  

When we love the wrong things, then that is when our hate and anger cause bad results.  When we love rightly, then our hate and anger will do the right thing.  For instance, if I see someone attempting to harm my friends or family and I react with anger and hate towards the oppressor, then I am showing that I love my friends and family.

Part of my faith is that I believe that God is love.  I also believe that we were created in God's image and that means that we were created to love also.  Our shortcomings however causes us to not love rightly as God does.   We were created to love rightly, plus those of us who have God living within us and we are living in His love - are being cured by God so we can show His love towards others.

I believe apathy on the other hand is the true opposite of love because it has no feelings.  I also think that apathy is not a natural response that is within us, but is a learned response.  Hurts, hardness of the heart, and other things put us in a position not to give a care.

M. V. Pruett

Here is the official obituary as it appeared in The Dallas Morning News.  "Pruett, Bro. M. V. Born on June. 15, 1925 Departed on, August 23, 2011 Resided in Mesquite, TX. Bro. M. V. Pruett, of Mesquite, Texas, passed away peacefully at Beacon Hospice in Longview, Texas on August 23, 2011. Following a public burial at The Mesquite Cemetery at 12:00 noon on Saturday, August 27, 2011, a service of worship and celebration will be held at 2:00 pm at Wildwood Baptist Church. Family will receive friends at the Wildwood Baptist Church Friday evening from 6:00PM - 8:00PM. "




I first met Bro. Pruett, when I was taking piano lessons from Beth Bassett  and working for Mr. Bassett.  I met two of his daughters (Kelley & Paula)  as they were taking piano lessons there also.  If I was mowing when they would arrive for piano lessons,  I would try to find a way to get close enough to say hi to them.  Bro. Pruett would come over and just spend time talking to me ( as a  Pastor and friend and not as a parent), if he was the one who brought the girls.  He just loved people.  


After I started driving, I started attending Wildwood Baptist Church where he was Pastor.  His compassion for people was maybe his biggest quality.  He had a presence about him that just seemed to calm those around him.  I know that when my 1st son was born, my wife was in labor all night.  It reach a point the next morning when the Doctor saw the need to perform a c section. My mother and mother in law had both been there all night also and were fit to be tied by early in the morning. So about 5 am I called Bro. Pruett and he came down to the hospital and as soon as he walked in everyone started calming down.  After Jarrod was born and everyone else went home, Bro. Pruett took me to have breakfast with him and to talk.  He told me that he appreciated getting to sleep that night, but he would have been down there with me from the start if I had called him. 


 That was the way he was with everyone. He is the only preacher that I have ever known that would call his Deacons a hour or two before the service was scheduled to start to tell them that they needed to fill in for him because he needed to be with a family at their time of crises. 


He was the Pastor that baptized me after my salvation experience that had occurred years earlier.  He also performed Virginia's and mine wedding ceremony and over saw me being ordained as a Deacon when I was 25.


While I will not put him on a pedestal and worship him, nor will even describe him as a great man of God, I will say that the man that we knew and loved and that meant so much to us was Christ in M. V. Pruett and that was true about him always-even on his worst day.

The way that the definition of pastor has changed in my life.

Have you ever saw someone who held the office of Pastor and commented on how they were different because they were a real pastor, or have you ever thought that someone was a good preacher and or teacher and not a pastor?  Those types of thoughts show that there is a difference between someone holding the office of Pastor and being a pastor.  In other words these are 2 separate things.  Growing up I use to hear a cliche' that went;  "Preachers come a dime a dozen, but a pastor is hard to come by".  This too shows that the office of Pastor and the gifting to be a pastor is two different things.

So, what is the difference?  Can a person be both:  gifted as a pastor and hold the office of Pastor?  I believe that someone can be both, but the office can get in the way of using the gift of pastor.  I see the differences this way.  To hold the office of Pastor is to be the CEO of a corporation.  A Pastor overs sees the business of church.  He must be involved in the financial bottom line of the corporation (even with a finesse committee).  He oversees the programs of the corporation.  He is also the salesman of the corporation.

I believe that a person who has been gifted to be a pastor is really just a bell cow or in this case a bell sheep.  A bell sheep would be a sheep that knows the Shepherd and is experienced at following Him.  The Shepherd buts the bell on that sheep, so that as that sheep is moving as the Shepherd wants, the newer sheep will hear the bell and move with him.  In this way, they too will learn the ways of the Shepherd and someday will be bell sheep themselves.  To put this in human terms, a true pastor is someone who walks and loves like God.  Someone that you can go to for advice.  Someone you can go to in times of trouble.  Someone who you know will love you even when they do not agree with you.  They will be honest with you while loving you.  Someone who really does not need to tell you about God, because to be with that person is to be with and see God and to know the love of God.  A true pastor is intimately involved in other peoples lives and not hiding behind Secretaries in an office down the hall.

 Jesus once said to not call people Father, Teacher, or Rabbi because they were not God,  I believe that Jesus was telling us to not put people between us and God.  To elevate someone in this matter can really usurp the role of The Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is to be our guide, teacher, the one who convicts us, our comforter.  In short He is God in us.  

I have come to a funny point in my life.  I still enjoy listening to good expository preaching, but I no longer acknowledge the office of Pastor in regards to my life.  I have many friends and family to do see the need for a Pastor and I have friends to hold the office of pastor and I do not mean to condemn any of them or anyone else with my beliefs.  Even though our beliefs may be different on this I respect and honor you for your beliefs.  These are just that, my beliefs.  They are between me and God and  everyone else needs to approach God the Father about this for themselves.

It is my wish that everyone will know the Love of God for themselves and dwell in that Love to the point that when others see you, they are really seeing God's love through you.

Dennis

change in definitions in church.

Have you ever thought of the different meanings that we give to the word church?  When we ask someone where they go to church, what do we mean?  We use church to refer to buildings and property or to refer to an incorporation, or a set of services, or even church staff.  I am not trying to criticize anyone for their beliefs.  I am only trying to explain mine.

I see the word church to really be just the plural of the word believer.  I mean anytime believers are together they are called church.  These get togethers can be planned or just meetings of "chance".  When I read the New Testament, I see examples of these get togethers but no command saying this is the way that it must be done.

As someone who not only had grown up attending traditional church meetings, but was a leader with in them, I began to realize that something was missing in these meetings.  I believe that even though we talked about God being there, we really did not experience Him as Friend or a close loved one.  I have been drawn by the Spirit to look at christianity 101 and to see people as the early christians did.

I think that as we get together with our friends, we are to" spur one another on to love and good works",  ^{& to "}encourage each other"  For me this is better done in intimate settings, instead of corporate meetings where everyone who gathers is told what to do, what to sing, what to give, and what to think.  For me this best done by sharing with each other from the heart, friend to friend.  to be there for each other, to bear with each other.  We realize that any changes in us can only be made by God through us.  That is grace.  That is living inside out.  God cleans the inside of our hearts and so our attitudes and actions change.  Any changes that we attempt to make by coercion, will only change the actions.  An alcoholic can stop drinking but in their soul they are still an alcoholic unless they are changed on the inside.  The same is true with each of us and all of our short comings.  It is only when God changes our insides that true changes occur. 

The Dance

Some of the Alumni are planning a dance in Sept. a week after the Alumni Lunch.  I am always glad to get together with my friends and I am supporting both events.  I am also hoping that a bunch of people show up at each one.

However, dancing does have concerns for me.  First there is the fact that I do not know how to dance.  I have never got up on a dance floor and danced.  I have never done so publicly.  Never do so with a partner.

The second thing is how will that affect my marriage.  I am not talking about affecting my wife because I am not having secret rendezvous with anyone or going out of town to spend time in a motel with anyone.  I am talking about how will dancing affect my attitude towards my marriage.  Is stepping out on a dance floor with someone no different from twirling around the living room with my granddaughter or something more?

I don't have the answers to this one and since I have not experienced this, then I cannot draw upon my past either.  As far as getting the answer from the Bible, that can go either way.   I believe David either danced with other women or danced in a matter that exposed himself to other women while The Ark Of The Covenant was returning to Jerusalem and God was pleased even if Michal wasn't.

Dennis

Scattershooting.

Back in 1979, my wife and I went to Missouri with some close friends (Mike and Sharon Paris) who were from there.  We spent a couple of days in Fredricktown with Sharon's family and while we were there, her Dad was talking about our Summers here in Texas and said that we were "next door to Hell" with all the heat that we have.  This past week reminded me of him telling me that.

Lometa's husband, Bobby Rorie had an Aunt Rosie who past away this past week and my heart goes out to them.  I knew his Aunt Rosie and her family when I was a kid and told my Mom about her passing away.  My Mom told me that she had known her since the 1st grade ( at Tripp which is now known as Sunnyvale) and had gone to school with her though High School (Mesquite High School) as well as church.  I knew that my Mom's mom ( whom I called Dodo) grew up on land that is now covered by Lake Ray Hubbard, but my Mom also told me that Dodo's mother's family had lived there for a while and that our relationships with the Duckworths go back several generations.  I had always thought that I was the first one in my family to be friends and to grow up with the Duckworths ( however I did know that Mom grew up with Bubba's mom), so I guess that tells you how much I know.


I went to the circus today, and I liked it.  While watching the performances, I noticed a couple of mistakes by the performers.  One of the acrobats missed her jump and the rope that she was wearing caught her and kept her from falling.  There were men holding the other end of ropes that they were wearing and these people not only made sure that the ropes kept the performers safe but also that the ropes did not prohibit them from performing.  I really thought that was a nice picture of what love is like, whether it is God's love for us or our love for each other.


Dennis

If someone wrongs you within the NMHS Alumni of the Seventies.

I really love this high school alumni group that I am in.  It is growing and I believe that many of us are actually closer now than when we were in high school.  As the group goes forward, there will be times when one of us will do things that will hurt someone else in the group.  The question then becomes; how do we handle those times.  

I have no authority and this is strictly my opinion.  I think that the best course of action is the one of love.  So, how does love handle such things.  The first thing is to contact that person on a one to one basis.  It could be that what is going on is a simple misunderstanding or something that is unintentional.  If we go to that person first instead of running to someone else or blasting them on Facebook or some other service, then we can restore the friendship instead of making things worse.

If  things cannot be worked out on a one to one basis then get one or two others to join in the process.  A true friend who loves both people can be a big help in working things out.  

If the situation still not worked out, then this would be the spot to let the whole group know.  About 100 - 1000 posts on a wall can be an eye opener, especially if that person is told that until this is resolved then as far as we are concerned, they graduated from that other high school.  ;-)

I feel like we have a great group and I do not want to lose any friends.  I think that as long as we lived loved and love each other, then things will be good.

A different picture of love

All of us have heard something about what love is.  Those of us who attend some meeting of the church or gone to a wedding has probably heard something from 1 Corinthians 13 (called the love chapter).  How ever also in the Bible are these verses:

 Rom 13:10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

Rom 13:8 Owe no one anything, except to love one another, for the one who loves his neighbor hasfulfilled the law.

Gal 5:14 For the whole law can be summed up in a single commandment, namely, “You must love your neighbor as yourself.”

Jam 2:8 But if you fulfill the royal law as expressed in this scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well.

If these verses are true and I believe that they are, then love will act like this:


If a person loves their family then if possible, they will take one day of the week and use it for rest and family time.

A person will appreciate their parents for what they have gone through and not go around blaming them for  the misfortunes that have been inherited.

If one loves the people around them they will not murder them by thought, word, or action.  They will also not have an affair (by thought, word or action) with a person's spouse if you love both of them.
One will not spread lies about someone they love.One will not even want the possessions of people that they love.

Just a thought.

"When you are affected by what others think and say about you then they own you"

I am 54 years old and most of my life I have lived by the statement that your reputation is the most important thing about you.  So everything I did was done to impress people and look perfect.  ( There was also another thing going on in my life in that I felt that the only way I could be loved is if I was number 1 in everything that I did, but that is another issue that although happened at the same time was also different and is separate issue that I can talk about at another time.)  

When reputation was king, I was very aware about the ways others would view my actions.  This caused me to not to reach out and be the friend that I needed to be to some because of how that would have been viewed.  I was a lot more concerned with my self righteousness than love for others.  As I have shared about my hurts growing up, several people have told me that they felt the same way also.  I cannot help but think that maybe if I was not so consumed with myself, then I could have reached out and others would not have gotten hurt.  

Another characteristic was the way I reacted to false comments that were made about me.  I learned early in life that fighting would not change anything, but I would still  cut myself off from anyone that I felt that did me wrong.  As I look back, I realize that this was the main reason that I never came to any of the reunions until the 30th.  The main reason that I came then was a promise that I had made to Carol Pace Robertson after the 20th reunion.  (She was working in a school with my wife and had called the house to talk to her about school, but I answered the phone.  She laid into me for over an hour about not coming to the 20th.  Actually that was probably the longest that she had talked to me our whole lives.  The conversation ended with a promise from me that if possible, I would attend the 30th.)  I came fulfilling that promise. 

Also some others things happened to me between the 20th and 30th reunions, as people within churches began to try to orally assassinate me.  I was forced to leave a couple of churches and bounced around until I became involved within relationships and what some call Christianity 101.  

It was about that time that I came across a quote that went something like this, "When you are affected by what others think and say about you then they own you". There is another cliché that I have quoted often that says that we need to lived loved and that will allow us to love others.

For me, I knew that I needed to let Jesus love me and to realize that there was nothing that I could do to make Him love me more and there was nothing that I could do that would make Him love me less.  As I have accepted this teaching, I have naturally started loving others more.  

You can see this in the pictures that Dean has taken of me at the reunions.  There was a time when I would not have allowed a picture to be taken of me and another woman because that would lead to people saying that we must be having an affair (I know this because that was the culture that I grew up in).  Now that doesn't bother me like it use to because we are just friends and I and everyone else there knows that nothing could be further from the truth.  (Now I will say something if I feel something is going too far, but still I am not bothered like I used to be.)

It is when I am not affected by what someone else thinks or says that enables me to see their hurts and to reach out and to help them heal their hurts.  I am not there yet, but I am still on this journey.

Another parent tries to kill their child and then says God told them to do it.

It has happened again. A man tried to kill his son and then told people that God told him to do it.  I am glad that in this case the man failed, but the boy will probably still be scarred for life.  There have been a number of these types of things happening  these past few years.

I believe that when this happens, then one of 3 things is happening.  The first possibility could be that the person has mental problems and needs help.  The 2nd possibility is that the person is just a cold blooded killer and needs to have a fair trial followed by the appropriate punishment.  The 3rd possibility is that the person was led by some Spiritual Force to do such things.

The 3rd possibility leads us to another question.  What Spiritual Force could be doing this?  Could God really be doing this?

 I believe that there are demonic spiritual beings that masquerade as messengers of God that will try to influence us to do evil things.  If this is true, then how do we know if it is of God or from these demons.  For me the answer to this gets complicated to explain, but here goes.

As someone who grew as a Baptist and was a Deacon and small group teacher in the congregation, I know of a lot of Bible verses that command us not do such things.  The problem that I have with just quoting a number of these verses is that there are also 2 exceptions.  The first exception, is Abraham and the second is Jephthah.  A lot of us are familiar with the story of Abraham and Isaac.  Pastors and teachers love to teach that story because it fits nicely with our views of God.  Very few people know the story of Jephthah, because it is a hard story that challenges our view of God.

This story is found in the book of Judges chapters 10 & 11.  Jephthah is the illegitimate son of a man named Gilead and a prostitute.  Gilead was a married man and when his other sons grew up they drove Jephthah out of the house and Jephthah became a leader of a group of lawless men.

When the Ammonites were attacking the hometown, the leaders of Jephthah's hometown came and asked him to lead their army.  Jephthah agreed to do this and then asked God for help and promised God to sacrifice the first thing that come out of his house when he got home.  God gave him the victory and when Jephthah got home his only daughter who was a virgin was the first to come out to meet him.  This floored Jephthah, but he told his daughter his vow and she agreed to it but first wanted to spend a couple of months out with her friends.  She did this and come back as a virgin to be sacrificed.

So how can we know whether or not the same thing is happening today?  I believe that there are 2 differences between these Biblical exceptions and to what is going on today.  The first thing that in both exceptions, everyone walked away praising God and that is not happening here.


The 2nd thing has to do with relationship.  This is not much different from the relationships that we have here.  Most of us have gotten messages that want us to click on a certain link & those messages claim to be from our friends, but our relationship with those friends tells us that they would not send that link to us.  The same is true with someone who has a relationship with God and is living within the mindful presence of God.  We know that this is not coming from Him.

Personally, the only one of these possible reasons that I think might excuse the person is if they have  physical or mental problems and need treatment for these conditions.

What is sinful to you may not be for me and vice versa.

It is commonly taught that there is one chart of what is sin and that covers everyone.  Now sin is a "spiritual" word that just means wrong, and I believe that there are certain behaviors that are wrong for anyone to commit.  But, what if there are certain things that are wrong for some people but not for others.  As I have gotten older, I have come to believe that this is the case.

Two of the many examples that I believe that fall into this category are drinking and dancing.  I have grown up hearing that it is wrong to drink; however by the time that I was in High School, I knew that Jesus drank alcoholic beverages.  Since Jesus committed no sin (that is wrongs), then his drinking must not have been wrong.  If drinking was not wrong for Jesus, then it must not be wrong for us either.  Also, Jesus made mention that He will be drinking wine with his believers in the coming Kingdom with this statement,"NLT©  Matthew 26:29 Mark my words—I will not drink wine again until the day I drink it new with you in my Father’s Kingdom.”


So if it is ok to drink then why would it ever be wrong and why have so many preachers given sermons against it?  I think that the answer to this question to this question is obvious when you think about people with drinking problems such as alcoholics and abusive drinkers.  I think that everyone can agree that it would be wrong for people with conditions like these to drink.  Also, if  our drinking  would cause them to drink then it would be wrong for us to drink around them.  Also, it seems to me that a lot of people who have grown up around people who had  drinking problems, think that everyone who drinks will react the same way that the abusive drinker did.  So, if we really love these people we will not drink around them, because of the way they would perceive our actions.  Now there are certain people such as myself that have made a conscience decision not to drink and that would be different.  As I have stated before, my decision to not drink at this time has more to do with knowledge that alcoholism runs in my family and that may put me at risk.  The fact that other people drink does not bother me so it is ok to drink around me.  Heck, I could be the designated driver if needed.  


Dancing also can affect people in a similar way.  If you think that you should go to bed with everyone that you might dance with, then you really should not dance.  However, I believe that is ok and even good to dance.  The Bible evens says that there is a time to dance and to praise God with dancing.  


So, I think that the right or wrong of a lot of our actions comes down to this:  How does it affect us and how will it affect others.  No matter what, if we are letting God love us and we are also loving others then, we will make the right choice in these so called "gray areas" of life.

The Good and The Bad, Pedestals & Grace

As usual, this post does not come from a "think tank" of philosophical debate that occurs within the ivory towers of Seminarian Castles, but are my observations of lives lived out (that is what I also call sidewalk theology).

As I think about seeing the whole person, I come to the place of how that relates to a couple of other issues,  the first being pedestals.  I have noticed that when someone only sees the good in another person, then that other person is already placed on a pedestal and is worshiped without either one realizing it.  It seems to me that the same thing also happens when someone only sees the bad in themselves.  In that case, it seems that others are then placed on a pedestal and worshiped without either party realizing it.

Also, it appears to me that when someone only sees the bad in another person, then they have placed themselves on a pedestal above that other person and without realizing it, seek worship.  The same effect seems to happen when someone only sees and promotes the good about themselves.  I mean that when someone only acknowledges the good about themselves, then they are putting themselves on a pedestal above others to be worshiped.

I have seen a real danger of people coming out of Seminaries and exploiting the bad of people to the point where those same people only see the bad of themselves and at the same time, the Seminary graduate is promoting the good about themselves.   I have seen this played out to where the Seminary graduate becomes a "Jim Jones" type figure among these people.

From what I have seen, people who sees and acknowledges that everyone including themselves are both good and bad, then they are able to see everyone on an equal plane and not on pedestals.  I am not saying that everyone is 50/50 on being good and bad, but that everyone has done some good things and everyone has done bad things to some degree.

I think that this is also vital in how we extend grace to others.  It seems to me that when believers in God see life this way and that it is God who is changing us from within, when those believers are free to extend grace to other believers and to realize that God is also changing those other believers from the inside also.

WWII vet and a molester.

In a way it is funny how we can only look at one side of a person.  We can only see a person as all good or all bad.  I think that is the reason that we see so many smear campaigns going on today.  If we can be made to believe something bad about an individual, then we cannot recognize anything good in their life.

I know a man who now resides in a nursing home here in Mesquite, who is not of sound mind at this time and who is an extreme case of this phenomenon.  In WWII, he was the photographer in an advance plane that was sent out ahead of bombing runs to take pictures of bombing targets and bring them back so the bombers would know what to take out.  A Vet. that defended our country and so to many a hero.  These people cannot admit that he has done any wrong.  

Later in his life he became known as an alleged molester who molested an unknown number of young ladies (teenagers and older).  He did this while being a Deacon and a Sunday School teacher of kids.  So to others he is an evil person, and these people cannot admit that he has done any good.

So while I believe that he should have been arrested, trialed,  and executed for these crimes, I also think that he should be recognized like all WWII vets as a hero.  To only see one side of this person or any other,  makes a two dimensional caricature of them.  So I think that we need to see both the good and the bad and know that both exists to some degree in all of us.

I have not even gotten into the belief that as a Christian, the wrong doings have been paid for and that person will be rewarded in their future life for the good that was done here.  So, for this man as well as many others:  Thank you and have a great Memorial Day. 

Some thoughts on the end of the world and rapture.

One of the top stories, if not the top story of this week has been the prediction of the rapture that was supposed to happen today.  The thing that has amazed me most about this story is that I do not know of anyone asking "what is the rapture".  I also have taken notice the answers that people have given refuting this man's claim and have been very impressed.

If you do not know, the word rapture comes from the Latin Vulgate translation of 1 Thessalonians 4:17.  The Latin word "rapiemur" is translated into the English word rapture.  Most English translations translate from the Greek ἁρπάζω into the English phrase, "snatched up or gather up".  There are different ways of interpreting  this into an end time belief system and I will not get into that here.

One thing that concerns me about these types of statements is that people tend to submerge themselves into this line of theological philosophies in place of loving others.  These arguments are used to try to manipulate and scare people into Heaven.  Not only does the Bible say that the main thing is to love others, common sense also teaches us that same thing.  

Suppose you are single and that I know the perfect match for you.  Should I try to manipulate and scare you into meeting the other person; or should I approach you out of love, telling you how the other person is the perfect match for you.  You see there is a difference between forming a relationship and manipulating someone into saying an incantation that we call the "sinner's prayer".  People who promote events like the one that was supposed to happen today are caught up in manipulation and there is not any love coming through.

I remember a Bible verse saying that "these three remain, faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love".  

The Alumni Luncheons as a picture of Heaven

NET© 8:11 I tell you, many will come from the east and west to share the banquet  with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob  in the kingdom of heaven




What will Heaven be like?  That is a question that is asked often.  Jesus would often compare Heaven to a big banquet or meal that is similar to the bi-monthly luncheons that our High School Alumni have.  


Just think of that luncheon that we had today.  When we got there, we met each other with hugs and handshakes.  We said Hi and started sharing and listening to each other about things that were going on in our lives.  We were happy to see each and every person there.   Some, who were there are going through some tough times in their lives and the rest wanted to share that burden with them and to let them know that they are loved.  There were some there that are going through some good times and the rest wanted to rejoice with them and to let them know that they were also loved.  We all left looking forward to being with our friends again.


Jesus said that is what Heave is like.  While some picture Heaven as a place were we listen to sermons that not only seemed like they went on forever, but actually do.  That is not what Jesus said.  Others picture Heaven as a place where we all sit on clouds and play harps, but again that is not what Jesus said.  Jesus compared it to celebratory meals and parties. Can you picture God being there hanging out with the alumni today?   Can you imagine God wanting to party with us?  I can and do.