There is a second time that I should have died.

It was New Year's Day and I was planning on spending it like I had celebrated it for last few years.  So, i headed out the door and was driving down Hwy 175.  I was meeting a friend at Kings Creek Country Club for a round or two of golf.  I switched lanes as my exit drew near.  I remember that I could see the exit just on the other side of a cross over.  Then all of a sudden a 18 year old driving a pickup pulled out right in front of me.  I turned my wheels to the right as I tried to avoid a direct hit.  The right front of his pickup hit the left front of my pickup.  The collision was so hard that the left headlight was smashed in to the firewall of my cab.  This locked up the front wheels and forced me into an uncontrolled slide.  I ended up sliding between the legs of one of those green traffic signs.  There were about 2 inches of clearance for my pickup to go between the legs and fortunately I made it through the sign without hitting the sign.  The shoulder harness had wrapped around my neck instead of across my shoulder.  I received a whiplash and the retina of my left eye had a small tear in it.  The pickup that had pulled out in front of me was one of those GM pickups that had the exploding gas tanks on the side of the pickup.  So, a split second either way would have killed me.  I would have either hit his gas tank or he would have hit me in the drivers door which would have also killed me.

Even though I did not die, I still received some damage.  Instead of playing golf in Kemp, I received a ride in an ambulance back to Kaufman to the ER of the Presbyterian Hospital there.  Instead of looking for golf balls, I was worrying about what was happening to my eye.  The eyesight in my left eye was affected.  After a week the eye healed but I still had trouble seeing.   I had trouble judging distance.  I ended up being off work for 5 months because of it.

My last thought before hitting that I remember was that I was going to die. To be more specific, "I'm coming home" was the exact thought.  I understand the physics of why I did not die, but I am still in wonder of how everything happened so exactly in a way so that neither one of us died.  

That happened 11 years ago.  It was a life changing incident.  I used to be a guy that made long range plans and focused my life on reaching those plans.  (That had been caused by an inferiority complex that had me believing that I had to be better than everyone else in order to be equal with everyone else).  I have been a lot more a "day to day" guy since then.

Actually those 5 months that I was off work, were a time that I spent improving my relationship with God.  That time of fellowship with God would be very important in my life, because just a few years later, I would be having my encounter with the Seminary Graduates.  The same ones who tried to destroy my will, my emotions, & my soul.  They tried to turn everyone close to me against me.  The 5 months off strengthened my relationship with God, so their theological babbling could not turn me against God in order to worship them.  The friends that I lost because of them, have been replaced with alumni friends.  

I do not know what will happen to me in the future.   I have always had an inkling that whenever I die, it would not be a natural death, so any of you who out live me will know if I'm right or wrong about this.  It will not matter much to me because I am not afraid of what lies on the other side of death (however dying is a different matter, because I do not do pain well). 

So why did I not die?  I don't have a good answer to that question, but I do know that if that had not happened, I would not have been prepared for these past 11+ years of emotional pain.  I still have plans, but I am no longer controlled by those plans.  I have learned to treasure the relationships that I have now, because there is no guarantee that they will last either.